The Power of Thoughts

Guest blog by Darby Dugger

Have you ever realized the power of your thoughts?

Last week my husband came home from work with a bakery brownie he had picked up for me. I often joke that food is my love language, which is kind of sad, but still true. His simple act of buying me a brownie communicated love and acceptance. As I was eating that incredible treat, my face was all aglow as I thought about other romantic gestures Jason has done for me in the past. It is a comforting feeling when we feel secure in the love of our spouse.

Fast forward two days.

(yes, that’s right, just two days)

Jason and I sat down to compare our schedules for the next week. We both knew it was going to be a busy one, but as I stared at our calendar, I pouted that we weren’t going to have a lot of free time to be together as a family.  My husband didn’t see it that way and began to point out the times we would be together. I immediately felt as if he didn’t cherish our family time together and he wasn’t sensitive to my needs. That evening I felt that my husband didn’t understand me or didn’t appreciate quality time.

As I was brushing my teeth that night, the reality of what happened hit me like a ton of bricks.

Just two days before I was dancing on the inside thinking I was the luckiest bride in the world, and now here I was questioning if my husband would ever understand my needs. How did such a drastic shift take place so quickly?

The answer? The Power of my thoughts!

The night Jason brought me home the brownie, I recounted several ways in which he has expressed his love for me over the years. The evening we disagreed about the calendar, I recounted the times we haven’t seen eye to eye. Satan fed me the lie that Jason didn’t care for my needs, and I dwelt on it, contemplated it, and eventually, my spirit agreed with it.

The Bible is full of wisdom regarding our thought life! Jesus explains the power of our thoughts when he equates hate with murder and lust with adultery (Matthew 5:21-28). Philippians 4:8 tells us,”… whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable… if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.” Paul also tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to, “… take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” The New Century Version translation of Proverbs 4:23 reads, “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.”

The equation is simple:

Negative Thoughts = Negative Emotions. Positive Thoughts = Positive Emotions.

I need to start realizing the power my thoughts have over my perception of the state of my marriage. Obeying Philippians 4:8 will remove pressure from my husband and benefit our relationship. Taking captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ is God’s remedy for when we are focused on the wrong things. Dwelling on a disagreement or disappointment in my marriage (past or present) is never a part of God’s guidelines for my thoughts.

We will be happier wives when we are intentional in thinking positive thoughts rather than stewing over the negative.

How have you seen your thoughts positively or negatively influence your marriage?


Bio: Darby Dugger, a Christian speaker and writer who offers wives authenticity rather than advice. Her desire is to share her shortcomings while highlighting the hope found in God’s Word. She have a passion for Jesus, promoting healthy marriages, encouraging women no matter where they are on their faith journey, and diet cokes. She is an active member of Southeast Christian Church and lives with her husband and their five young children on a farm in Crestwood, Kentucky.  For more information of Darby please visit her here .

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