[waiting name=”Dare of Month”]

January 2023 State of the Union Dare

It’s January which traditionally means the President of the United States delivers a State of the Union address; however, this month’s Dare invites you and your husband to create your own State of our Sexual Union address. January is an excellent month to take stock of what worked well in the bedroom in 2022 and what could use improvement in 2023.

If you’re like most couples, talking specifically about your sexual activity preferences can feel awkward at first, so to make your conversation easier, we’ve attached a helpful handout for both of you to complete separately during your State of our Sexual Union address. Then, exchange your completed handout, and discuss the items where one or both of you would like to see change. Below are tips for a good conversation about sex.

To make this Dare more fun, try playing our Spotify “State of the Union Dare Playlist” as background music. You could hang this nice $5 USA flag in the room and use it later for holiday display. To be comfortable during this extended conversation, check out this cute and comfy stars and stripes pajama shorts set or this stars short nightgown.

For extra sizzle, give him these patriotic boxers and tell him there will be a “debriefing” after the State of our Sexual Union address!

And for those of you who live outside the United States, feel free to adapt this Dare to work for your country.

Tips for a good conversation about sex:

1)     Use our handout. It’s helpful.

2)     Schedule a time when you are both fed, rested, and have complete privacy.

3)     If you tend to argue about sex, agree that there is no expectation that you are going to be sexually intimate immediately after your conversation, and that there is no expectation that your spouse will immediately and consistently make every change you request. A realistic expectation is that you will listen to each other and gain a better understanding of:

a.      how you both are experiencing your sexual relationship

b.      areas in which you’d like to see change.

4)     Pray in advance for open, receptive hearts.

5)     Limit the conversation to your sexual relationship. Do not bring in other marital issues which could hijack the conversation. Those other issues can be discussed at another time.

6)     Agree in advance to speak the truth in love. So, be honest and be kind. Be sure to tell your spouse what you enjoy about your physical intimacy. A good State of the Union address includes what is going well.

7)     If one or both of you tend to react to feedback like you’re being personally attacked followed by getting defensive, discuss in advance how you can ask for a short break to calm yourself. During your break, remind yourself that your spouse is your friend, not your enemy. You are on the same side.

8)     At the end of your conversation, schedule a follow up conversation in a month. Put it on the calendar and make it happen.

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