How Can I Be a Godly Wife AND a Sensuous Wife?

The Godly, Sensuous Wife

Have you ever wondered, “How can I be a godly wife and a sensuous wife?” The question behind this question is, “How could I possibly be a woman who loves God, wants to be transformed into the image of Christ, and also be really interested in sex?” It can seem like the spiritual and physical parts of us don’t fit together easily, like we have to choose one or the other and can’t value the spiritual and physical at the same time. In short—“It sometimes feels like I have to choose between being a good girl for God or a bad girl for sex.”

Where do we get this idea? It’s certainly not biblical.

When you hear the phrase “she’s a godly woman,” what words, images, and people come to mind? Maybe purity or devotion–women who love God and seek to serve Him wholeheartedly. Negative images of “a godly woman” may exist as well. Perhaps you thought of a tight-lipped woman in sensible shoes.

When you hear the word “sensuous,” what comes to mind? Maybe an image of a curvaceous blonde in a tight black dress came to mind or a celebrity with “bedroom eyes.” Because most of us don’t fit these descriptions (to me, having “bedroom eyes” means that I finally get to close them and go to sleep!), we may decide that we just aren’t the sensuous type. Guess what? You are the sensuous type. You are also the godly type. You can be the godly, sensuous type because you are created in God’s image, and God is sensuous.

Does that sound blasphemous? It’s not meant to be. Sensuous means affecting or appealing to your senses; that you are influenced (but not necessarily controlled) through your senses; that through your sense of smell, touch, taste, sight, and hearing you can receive pleasure. If you have ever been irresistibly drawn to the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking or transported to emotional heights by music, you understand what it is like to be affected by your senses. God doesn’t have a human body like we do, but the Bible states that He smells, touches, sees, and hears, and that He experiences pleasure through those senses. For example, Genesis 8:21 “The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma…” and 2 Chronicles 30:27 “…and God heard them, for their prayer reached heaven, his holy dwelling place.” God is in touch with His senses. Are you?

Many of us are so busy that we go through our daily lives without truly tasting the food we eat or appreciating the beauty we see around us or relishing the warm touch of our husbands. We turn our sense-o-meter down to low, and this ends up robbing us of pleasure in the bedroom because really great sex happens when we are plugged into our senses.

What sights, sounds, smells, etc. delight you during your day? What do you do to help you reconnect with your senses so that you can enjoy sex more with your husband?

Comments 3

  1. carla
    December 12, 2011

    I keep a picture of my husband by my desk. When I look at the picture, I think about the most pleasurable times I have had with him in the past. That makes me want him more.

    1. Jennifer Degler
      February 20, 2012

      Great idea, Carla! Thanks for sharing.


  2. Suzi
    November 1, 2019

    Make a plan early in the day: tonight, after dinner I will light a candle in our bedroom and take a warm shower! An early start allows for more time to relax and spend an enjoyable evening in each other’s arms, behind closed doors!

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